15 FUNNY-ISH QUOTES ABOUT TRUMP

Donald Trump

I wasn’t going to do another blog post for a good few days, however Trump did a speech yesterday and I just feel it in my bones to get this one out, so here goes. Wish me luck…

When Trump recently went to Saudi Arabia he unsurprisingly dropped the term “radical Islamic terrorism”. For a brief moment I thought maybe this was the softening towards Islam that I hoped Trump would eventually have. How wrong was I.

A few months later he holds no iftar dinner at the White House (thus breaking a 19 year old tradition), he implements a partial version of his Muslim travel ban, and he brings back my favourite phrase. With a vengeance.

I was worried that the phrase “radical Islamic terrorism” was now confined to the Trump bin of history but, much to my pleasure, it has made a comeback. On Saturday 1st July 2017, Trump made a speech at the Celebrate Freedom Concert which took place at the John F Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts in Washington. During another awesome speech he made the following remarks:

In every positive thing his mouth said about Americans, I felt his beady little eyes seemed to say “…except Muslims”. Anyways, in honour of the return of Muslim-hating Trump (welcome back sir!) please find below 15 funny-ish quotes about the leader of the free white world. And yes, that first quote does contain a veiled reference to 9/11. Enjoy!

PS For more funny-ish Trump quotes please see here.


I get why Trump hates Muslims. If I owned a very tall tower I’d be pretty nervous too. – Reem Edan

Trumps stupid travel ban went into effect. As of last night people from the Sudan, Syria, Libya, Somalia, Yemen, and Iran can forget about that dream vacation to Dollywood. And yet Saudi Arabians on the other hand are free to board any plan and fly into a building of their choice. But Trump says he will not have foreign nationals coming here and killing innocent Americans. That’s what the health care plan is for. – Bill Maher, 30 Jun 2017

Our capacity to be shocked has already been so worn down by the Trump presidency. He’s like your druggy cousin who can no longer surprise you. – Seth Meyers

It’s like there is a horse loose in a hospital. I think everything is going to be okay but I have no idea what is going to happen next, and nobody else does either. We’ve all never not known together. It’s not good. And it’s confusing because everyday we just have to follow the horse and some days it’s like “The horse used the elevator.” And there are days when you say “Wait, is the horse smart?” And we’re all like why hasn’t the horse catcher caught the horse? And the horse is like “I have fired the horse catcher.” That shouldn’t be a thing. – John Mulaney

Trump has taught America a valuable lesson: you can never be too rich to be white trash. – Bill Maher

We can’t just wait for moral leadership from a guy who thinks shooting people on 5th Avenue is an applause line. – Samantha Bee

Trump does not make his voters feel stupid, he makes them feel smart, like Joey on Friends. – Bill Maher

65 percent of Republicans don’t even believe that Russian hacking took place. Remember Linda Blair in The Exorcist? I honestly think that if Donald Trump came out and his head spun around 360 degrees and exploded with green projectile vomit, 65 percent of Republicans would say it was brilliant performance art. And this is the challenge that we’re up against. – Charlie Sykes

Let’s be honest, Trump’s presidency is basically doing the exact opposite things Obama did. It’s a series of control-z’s punctuated by golf weekends. That’s all it is. Every single thing is anti-Obama. In fact, he is so anti-Obama he is probably resubscribing to every spam list Obama unsubscribed from. He’s just sitting there, like “Yes I would like more information about Group On, thank you.” – Trevor Noah

Trump promised to bring back mining jobs, yet Trump barely gets what mining is. He may well think it is just running up to things he wants and yelling “MINE!” That’s possible. – John Oliver

It’s worth asking why do Trump and his fans care so much about some jobs and not at all about others. We know that coal mining is 95% male and 95% white but I’m sure that’s not it! No, maybe it’s Trump’s view of the economy. Being like a five-year-old child he only likes coal miners and truck drivers and construction workers, you know, the kind of jobs you see on Sesame Street. – Bill Maher

It is undeniably terrifying that at this moment of such intense gravity for the planet this figure of such extreme stupidity has risen to power. – Naomi Klein

That sense that Trump has that everybody out there is so stupid is a sign of how stupid he is. – Rebecca Traister

I feel like I am binge watching The Fall Of The Roman Empire, set to the music of Benny Hill. – Bill Maher

I have become very over dramatic since the election. Everything to me is now loaded with symbolism. Like whenever it rains now I’m just like “Huh! Metaphor!” I ordered a sandwich on the inauguration, it was supposed to come on wheat bread but it came on white bread and I was like “Hello! It’s already happening. This is how it starts, with the bread.” – Aparna Nancherla

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