I’M ALL ABOUT THE BEARD. NO STUBBLE

For us Muslim men is there life beyond the beard? No, don’t be so silly. Whilst the beard, like the hijab, is no substitute for true devotion and genuine commitment to the Islamic faith, I have to admit that having a beard is rather fearsomely tremendous.

For those of ye with little faith, presented below are a multitude of reasons why beards are all the rage (I am using the word ‘rage’ in a fashionable sense rather than an emotional one, just clarifying)…


Beards make you look super-duper, even if you already are rather super, like Superman…

beard super

Or even Batman for that matter…

beard bale


Despite what ‘scientists’ say, we have definitely not reached ‘peak beard’. This is, apparently, when beards become so popular that they are no longer unusual enough to be attractive.

Researcher Robert Brooks said “It appears that beards gain an advantage when rare, but when they are in fashion and common, they are declared trendy and that attractiveness is over. These trends usually move in 30-year cycles from when they are first noticed but, with the internet, things are moving a lot faster. If guys aren’t getting any joy with their beards, they will quickly change.”

I don’t think ‘peak beard’ applies to me as the wife has not said that my ‘attractiveness is over’.


Beards are actually so popular that ‘beard transplants’ are on the rise. Men are spending thousands of pounds to fill in their patchy beards, as the number of beard transplant procedures have increased dramatically. Some have spent up to £14,500 on beard transplants to achieve that fully groomed look.

Joe Armos, a 28-year-old paramedic living in Miami, said he had spent £4,600 on a full beard transplant from side burns to chin as he believed his patients would trust him more if he had a “stronger, manlier look”.

During a beard hair transplant procedure, tiny hair follicles are harvested one-by-one from a donor area of the body and then transplanted to the chin. The transplanted hair typically starts growing in immediately and usually patients can shave two weeks following the procedure.

For more details, see the Beard Clinic and the Bearded Gospel Men.

beard eyes


Every now and then, various Islamic terrorist groups will order local men to grow a beard. For example Hizbul-Islam militants in Somalia have ordered men in Mogadishu to grow their beards and trim their moustaches. “Anyone found violating this law will face the consequences,” a Hizbul-Islam militant said, announcing the edict.

You also had the Taliban and their ‘beard police’ enforcing local men to keep beards. So strong was this policy that many American special operations forces grew long beards themselves so as to blend in on arduous and isolated missions in rural Afghanistan.

beard forces

More recently ISIS have had roaming ‘beard patrols’ in places like Mosul, Iraq.

Despite this, most Muslim scholars consider having a beard as a recommendation rather than a compulsory obligation, similar to the hijab for women.

beard mugs


In case you wanted to know what it’s like for a Muslim guy like me to have a beard, these two videos should answer all your common questions…


Whilst beards are trendy and not contagious, be careful if wanting to touch one…


If you are stupid a beard can make you look slightly smarter…

beard dubya


According to a ‘study’, men who have beards are more likely have cheated on their partner, stolen something and been in a fight. The study found the 47 per cent of men with facial hair had cheated on their partner, compared to 20 per cent clean-shaven men.

Having said that, if you know how to rock a beard properly, it can be a thing of respectful beauty. Just on the off chance you don’t believe me, feel free to ask basketball player and Khloe Kardashian dater James Harden…

beard james


Another beard to be fully respected belongs to Sikh woman Harnaam Kaur, who says that having a beard “makes me feel really strong…It makes me feel like a brave, confident woman who isn’t afraid to break society’s norms.”

beard woman


There are plenty of health benefits to having a beard, such as:

  • A beard can protect your face from the sun’s damaging rays.
  • A beard can ward off throat disease.
  • A beard can assist those with asthma.
  • A beard can reduce the chances of bacterial infection.

Still don’t think beards are amazing? Well I’ll just let this guy say it like it is…


So, remember, you are never too young to go forth and follicly multiply…

beard baby


Sources:

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One thought on “I’M ALL ABOUT THE BEARD. NO STUBBLE

  1. Nice article – but just to clarify an error that was made:
    Beard and Hijab ARE compulsory.
    There are 3 different opinions from Scholars which state on how long a beard should be – but none of they have said that a beard is just ‘recommended’.
    The sahih hadith of the Prophet Muhammad pbuh narrated by ibn Umar and Zayd ibn Arqam is: ”..leave the beard and trim the moustache.”

    This is a command (a waajib act) meaning not an option for those who are Muslim not to follow it.

    And Hijab being compulsory should be obvious to anyone with understanding.
    Still if you need more info please let me know.

    Jzk khair
    Aslaamu’alaikum.

    Like

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